2. You reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes and, of course, aluminium foils too.

3. You are always standing next to the four largest size suitcases at the airport.

4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party – and think it’s normal.

5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.

6. You recycle Wedding Gifts, Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.

7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Shameem, Faheem, Naeem, Raheem, etc.)

8. All your children have nick names which sound nowhere close to their real names.

9. You take snacks anywhere it is mentioned ‘No Food Allowed’

10. You talk for one hour at the front door when leaving some one’s house.

11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.

12. You keep anything
new in your house whether it’s a remote control, VCR, or new couch covered with polythene cover for months and months.

13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think but they won’t let you do certain things because of what the other ‘Uncles and Aunts’ will think.

14. You buy and display crockery which is never used as it is meant for a special occasion that would never happen.

15. You use vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.

16. You use grocery bag to hold the garbage in it.

17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.

18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, variety of bowls and plastic utensils (which you got free with the purchase of other stuff)

19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes); you never buy from a take away shop.

20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker or both.

21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

22. You live with your parents even you are 40 years old. (And they prefer it that way).

23. You don’t use measuring spoons or cups when cooking.

24. You never learned how to stand in a queue.

25. You can only travel if there are at least 5 persons to see you go off or receive you whether you are travelling by bus, train or plane.

26. You only make long distance calls after 10 pm

27. Your conversation is laced with constant references to God even while talking about the most mundane and insignificant matters.

28. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunt.

29. When your parents meet a stranger and talk for a few minutes you make another distant relative.

30. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.

31. Its embarrassing for you if you’re invited to a wedding inviting less than 500 people.

32. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping whether you are buying the potatoes or onion.

33. You don’t engage in dialogue. You don’t pay the slightest attention to what the other person is saying. You impatiently wait for them to stop speaking so you can blurt out your piece.

34. You have strong opinions on everything under the sun. But when it comes to decision making, you create issues to reach a crisis and panic set in before you decide to act.

35. If you have really enjoyed reading this mail – forward it to as many Pakistanis as possible.

THE AUTHOR IS PROUD TO BE A PAKISTANI

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Maintain a Website

If you maintain someone else’s website, the owner may spread the word about your services. You could maybe ask for a small link at the footer of their site, linking back to your site, which will gain some exposure.

Create a Blog

Creating a blog can bring in loads of traffic, and maybe even clients. If you write great content, other people will link back to it, and it will rank higher in search engines, so its a win win situation.

Network Online

Use online social networks such as facebook, twitter and digg to promote your blog articles, design work, and do personal networking with other designer.

Create An Email Signature

Putting a signature in all your outgoing emails can generate alot of traffic, especially if you send alot of emails.

Purchase And Design Business Cards

Business cards can generate alot of business. If you have a nice eye catching design, and something that is unique, there will be more chance of people looking into your services than if you had a plain business card design.

Create a Portfolio

If you put up all your work into a nice online portfolio, clients will be able to see your work, and websites will link to your work if its of amazing quality.

Participate In Forum Discussions

Participating in forum discussions can generate buzz. If you have a clear standing opinion to many forum threads, people will begin to look into who you are, what websites you have etc. The forum threads will be in search engines, thus giving you long term promotion.

Get Personal

If you are personal and unique with your designs, people will see you as unique.

Volunteer

Contribute to open source projects / non profit online organizations. It looks great on your portfolio.

Create A Forum Signature

If you put your website link or even an image in your forum signature, and it looks eye catching, people will click it. Then you just have to post more threads, and reply to them, and it will get your link all over the forum.

Buddy Up

Get another web designer as your buddy. You can work together, give each other work and help each other out. Win win situation.

Blog Comments

Participating in blog discussion, by commenting on other peoples blog entries can give you traffic back to your blog. If you post a good comment that many people are likely to read, then you will get clicks.

Guest Post

The Internet is full of opportunity. Many bloggers big and small go on holiday, and love to take breaks. They might like you to guest post on their blog, and this means you can post link backs to your own site, when it says article written by. Especially if its a big blog you are guest posting on, you will gain loads of exposure.

Participate In Design Competitions

Don’t be shy. There are many websites such as 99designs and digitalpoint forums that hold design competitions. This can give you opportunity to showcase your work, and show people what your design skills are like.

Word Of Mouth

Tell people about your website and the services you offer. Your friends and family are sure to tell other people about you.

Get Yourself / Website In The News

Do something to get your website or yourself in the news / talked about over the blogosphere. Sponsor a charity event, turn your website upside down, it will work!

Trade Ads / Link Swap

Web Designers can help each other out. You can trade links and add them to each others blogroll, or even trade image ads such as 125 x 125px.

Develop A Relationship With All Your Clients

If you develop a personal relationship on a one to one base with all your clients, they will respect you and maybe even come back for more work or better yet, refer you to their friends.

Submit Your Work To Web Galleries

Web Galleries love great design work. Some web galleries online are immensely popular, so if your work gets on the front page of them, you will receive thousands of clicks back to your work, which means more clients.

Hold Contests On Your Website

If you hold contests on your websites, people will tell other people about the contests if it has a great prize, and it will generate alot of online buzz.

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Doctor: U look exactly like my third wife.

Lady: how many wives does u have?

Doctor: two (2)

Moral: EXPRESS SMART IDEAS, SMARTLY

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Two men and one woman..

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

‘We must know that you will follow your Instructions no matter what the circumstances.

Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair .. . .. Kill her!!’

The man said, ‘You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.’

The agent said, ‘Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.’

The second man was given the same instructions.

He took the gun and went into the room. All was Quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, ‘I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.’ The agent said, ‘You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.’

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the Gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one After another. They heard screaming, crashing, Banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was Quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the Woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.

‘This gun is loaded with blanks’ she said.. ‘I had to Beat him to death with the chair.’

MORAL:

Women are crazy. Don’t mess with them.

• May 8, 2009 -- Risky Job (1)

———— –

After 10 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no recommendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying;

Myfriend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366

Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours

Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- S! o, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)

Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3×366 = 122 in days)

Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir

Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days

Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.

Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days

Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager! :- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!

Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!

Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that
I was stealing Company money all these days.

Moral – NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!

• May 8, 2009 -- JOB AT F. B. I. (0)

Just for this morning, I am going to
smile when I see your face and laugh
when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning, I will let you
choose what you want to wear,
and smile and say how perfect it is.
over the laundry and pick you up and take you to
the park to play.
Just for this evening, I will let you
splash in the tub and not get angry.
stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.
beside you for hours, and miss my favourite TV shows.
watching their children suffer senselessly and screaming
inside that little body
you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then,
that I will thank God for you, and ask him for

Just for this morning, I am going to step

Just for this morning, I will leave the
dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put
that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug
the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with
you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell
once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and
whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one
if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won’t worry
about what you are going to be when you grow up, or
second guess every decision I have made where you are
concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you
help me bake cookies, and I won’t stand over you
trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon, I will take us
to McDonald’s and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can
have both toys.

Just for this evening, I will hold you in
my arms and tell you a story about how you were
born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let you

Just for this evening, I will snuggle

Just for this evening when I run my
finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be
grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers and
fathers who are searching for their missing children, the
mothers and fathers who are visiting their children’s
graves instead of their bedrooms. The mothers
and fathers who are in hospital rooms

And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold

nothing, except one more day…………..

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